Adam Sandler belly flops on his testicles.Ī naked Kevin James, leaping from the cliff, lands testicle first on David Spade’s head. The four leads are forced to cliff dive naked. At one point, he makes out with her bicep. That same woman is David Spade’s girlfriend. How is it that she allowed herself to make bad jokes of a homophobic nature?ġ4. Maya Rudolph is married to fucking Paul Thomas Anderson in real life.
Mya Rudolph suggests that her G-string is actually a jock strap, and makes several insinuations that she has a penis. There’s a running joke about a musclebound woman who looks like Hulk Hogan. The wives in the yoga class, meanwhile, slobber all over the yoga instructor (Oliver Hudson), and at one point, Maya Rudolph asks if she can “stick my tongue all the way down your throat.”ġ3. Likewise, he gets off on the ballet instructor. Jon Lovitz plays a perverted janitor, who arrives at a yoga class early to lead the women in simulated sex acts, while he gazes upon them lasciviously. The husbands all anxiously attend a little girls’ ballet recital so as to gawk at the cleavage of the ballet instructor, in front of their wives, who are oh-so-appropriately understanding and even encouraging.ġ2.
#GROWN UPS 2 SHAQ MOVIE#
It’s one of several times during the movie we are given close-ups of men in short shorts and the outline of their testicles.ġ1. During a gym class, Dan Patrick - in short shorts - climbs a rope in such a way that the audience is given a close-up look at his testicle brain. The Meadows’ spawn is also some kind of rapping Urkel.ġ0. There’s a running gag involving Tim Meadows’ family, all of whom have Ronald McDonald baldness, and all of whom attempt to introduce a “WHUUUUUUUT” catch phrase. The sneeze/burp/fart combinations are less unpleasant.ĩ. David Spade does it once, and Adam Sandler does it once right before he has sex with his wife, Salma Hayek. Kevin James does a combination sneeze/burp/fart four times during the movie. During this entire time, Swardson’s drug-fueled split personalities yell at each other.ħ. During an extended product placement to K-Mart, Nick Swardson strips to his boxers, takes a nap in one of their demo beds, and when he wakes up, he walks over and takes a dump in a demo toilet.
#GROWN UPS 2 SHAQ DRIVER#
After the blitzed-out bus driver played by Nick Swardson passes out and Adam Sandler takes over bus driving duties, the school children stick Cheetos in Swardson’s nostrils. The toddler son of Maya Rudolph and Chris Rock craps his diaper and affords his mother an excited poop dance, as though he has just scored a touchdown in the Super Bowl.ĥ. Tire, and during a six or seven minute scene during which I aged three years, the tire rolls down a hill, destroying everything in its path until it bounces off of Shaquille O’Neal and falls quietly on its side, at which point, Spade projectile vomits 15 feet across the road and onto a nearby police officer.Ĥ. David Spade’s character gets inside of a Monster Truck-sized In the extended sequence, the elk interrupts Adam Sandler’s son in the shower masturbating, and urinates all over him, as well.ģ. In the opening scene, a frightened elk inside of Adam Sandler’s bedroom urinates about six gallons of piss all over Sandler’s face.Ģ. If you choose, however, to see Grown Ups 2, these are the images that you will be forced to endure.ġ. It is the only movie I have ever seen that made me wish I were watching Movie 43 instead. It is a bowl of dicks crammed into a bag of assholes trapped inside of a black hole of stupidity. There is nothing salvageable in Grown Ups 2. Adam Sandler is clearly working under the belief that, if he puts his name on the poster and surrounds himself with enough familiar faces, people will flock to theaters without any concern whatsoever for what is actually on the screen. There is only the pain of knowing that each scene will unfortunately be followed by another scene, and each subsequent scene will force you to confront the decisions you made in your life that led you to this place, to a theater with far too many people in it, watching a poorly improvised pastiche of sketches - many of them abandoned due to indifference - featuring actors who simply do not care. There is not a single redeeming moment during Grown Ups 2.
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